I like to think that paintings don't have to be done when you think they're done (and certainly not when you want them to be done). This painting started last summer and I thought that it ended last summer but when I took it out recently, I knew it needed more.

...Going back to last summer, I started painting this at home and gave the underpainting some bright yellows and lots of graphite drawing. It went along with me to a 3-day art show with my friends where we were all working on pieces in progress throughout the long weekend.


At the point above, I felt like it was done. But it was nagging at me that it really wasn't finished. My friends kept telling me it was done, STOP. But I wasn't sure. I decided that I should let it dry and then decide, took it home and, a few days later, thought. Yep, that's good enough. Damn it, I should never think good enough is good enough. But it kept getting nice reactions from people, especially other artists, and I thought it might be ok. But when I took it out again to prep for the "Working Through" exhibit, I just couldn't leave it. I finally saw what I wanted to do to it and that was to simplify the colors and layer the drawing more.

"Getting Through", Oil and Graphite on board, 18" x 18"

So I took some more paint and some more scraping and graphite to it and I'm happy I did. The new tones of blue, the less black area, and a different use of the yellow. The yellow is still there and, even though it's just peeking through, I think it has more impact in its subtlety.

And who knows-- maybe if it sticks around I'll paint it again. Only time will tell!

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Come see my first solo exhibit Working Through at Monkitree, 263 Water St, Gardiner, Maine
Opening Reception: Friday, April 4, 2014  5:30-9pm
Exhibit runs April 4 - June 7, 2014
Facebook Event page here

Stage 6: Lightning Phase

Really liking the lines in the previous stage, I decided to focus on that section. Boy, was that torturous. I didn't have the right motivation to even be in the studio and my head just wasn't working but I kept painting and rubbed the oil sticks all over that damn canvas.

After much frustration, I'm okay with where it's going, just not totally where it's at.

I do love the colors in the top left section and hope to bring some more of that to the upper portion as well as more contrast and drawing. It's not anywhere near what I was thinking it would be but I have to remember to stop thinking and just work.

Onward...

4th studio session of new painting

Sometimes it's hard to get into the studio. I don't mean like "I have too much to do" or "There's no inspiration" or "There's a truck in the way and it's on fire." But there are often other obstacles that I am not in control of.

If I have too much to do, I make time. It's important to let yourself have the time to do what you love, even if it's just a few minutes.

If there's no inspiration, that's the perfect time to paint! Your most creative moments may come out of working through it and not being tied to an idea-- YOU'RE FREE!! ENJOY IT! See what happens!

If there's a truck on fire, well, get an extinguisher and call the fire department. I mean, yeah, that's going to put a damper in the day but hopefully the fumes won't be too bad.  Ok, this one will sting a little but you'll bounce back.

5th studio session of new painting where I really attacked it

The thing that's always getting in the way for me is my health. I'm often dizzy, have a migraine, in pain somewhere in my body. Most of my days I just work through it, set a goal of keeping up appearances, and relish the moment I get to sit on the couch with my pup and a warm blanket. But I've got to get in the studio-- again, it's making time to do what I love. And the frustration/anxiety/pain/bliss-getting-through-it is what feeds those pieces. This week, I've dealt with power outages that made the studio way too cold to work in and dizziness/migraines/sciatica that just seemed like that truck on fire, barricading me from the studio.  But I still got in there. It did take some time. It took energy to push myself to do something I did not feel like doing. But I kept thinking of that moment when it gets better. When the pile transforms from something I don't like and want to end, to something I'm happy living with. Then there's the painting. ;)

New painting in progress-- I thought I'd photograph it at the end of each session because I'm always fascinated with the layers and evolution of a painting. This is an oil on linen and is 50x60" which is a very large piece for me. In the beginning of a painting, I usually have no idea where it's going; no plans, nothing. I just get out the paint and see what happens. When I talk to people about a finished piece I usually tell a story of all the phases it's gone through..."You should have seen the painting underneath this one-- it was so frustrating and I couldn't figure out where to go next so I just covered it with a new painting!"

Well, I'll try to document all phases of this one. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I can already see myself painting over this.

Current phase after the 3rd sitting:

in progress

another in progress

Working in the studio again and the weather has been so nice that I'm able to open the windows and bust out the oil paint! This is making me immensely happy! I haven't used my oil paint for quite some time and have really been feeling the need to use them again. I've been using casein and some acrylic for the better part of 2 years now. I really love working with casein but wanted the luminosity and thickness of oil for the ideas I'm trying to work through. But I'm not abandoning casein, by any means. In fact, both of these painting have a casein underpainting. Technically, the green one has a casein underpainting and the gray one is an oil painting over a half finished casein painting that wasn't quite making the grade. But I used it as an underpainting of sorts.

new toys: old Grumbacher oil paint, giant tubes of Sennelier, and Shiva Paintstiks

The mark/drawing are made using Shiva Paintstiks, which are pigment compacted into a stick form with a minimal amount of linseed oil and wax.

I had been taking a break from the studio after a long productive time working on the CSA project. I needed to redirect my mind and figure out what's next. When I go through this process, I usually think back to things I know and how I studied art ... figure drawings, self portraits, still lives ... but I didn't necessarily want to take that route. So, instead, I thought OIL! Digging through my oil supplies, I found some really old tubes of Grumbacher paint that were given to me; the colors are not my typical color palette (there were mostly Thalo greens and blues) so I thought it would be the perfect way to open up and try something new. As you can see in the green painting above, I had fun using them and think I'll definitely add them into the normal rotation.

I don't know where I'd be without the help of my husband-- in general and in framing support, too!  He's cut mats and framed all of the work for the CSA show and I am so happy that he loves doing the technical work because it's just too fussy for me.  Give him things to measure and cut and he's a happy fella.  But don't worry- I help him plenty with the photography for his Etsy shop.  So let's call it sort-of-even!  (I still think I've made out on this deal)


I'm still chugging along on creating new paintings for the upcoming shows and I think I'll just keep making work beyond any exhibition dates.  I've purchased many panels to paint on and have gessoed a whole bunch of them.  I love painting on a freshly gessoed board!

I've been neglecting my blog (as most bloggers do) but it's not because I have nothing to say.  Quite the contrary, I have much to say but I've been blogging on the CSA project website and not here!  Shame on me!  So here I'll cram it all into one post and then I promise I'll keep posting here at the same time.  I mean, I know you worry.  I'm ok, really.  ....

By the way-- if you have a few dollars you'd like to donate to this project, please visit our Indiegogo page-- the thank-you presents begin at the $10 level!  http://www.indiegogo.com/CSA-Community-Supporting-Arts